Cosmo Kramer is perhaps one of the most outrageously hilarious and iconic characters in all of television history. Appearing in the pilot of Seinfeld in 1989 and played by Michael Richards, Kramer would go on to be a regular character as Jerry’s neighbor for the subsequent nine seasons and seven years. While Richard’s performance became iconic, that is not to say Jerry did not think someone else could have played Kramer. Richard would also, unfortunately, find himself in controversial hot water after a racist tirade during a standup show.
Kramer, along with his friends Jerry, George, and Elaine, would find themselves in uniquely hilarious situations throughout this series that will undoubtedly go down as one of the best ’90s sitcoms. Throughout all the crazy moments, it is Kramer who would always be quick with an undoubtedly quotable line. Let’s take a look at Kramer’s most iconic quotes.
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8 “Well, I thought they wore gloves and helmets, you know, like ‘American Gladiators?”
Columbia Pictures Television
This season eight episode prominently features a storyline centered on Kramer learning that the hen he bought for eggs is in fact, a rooster. After a scrum with a neighborhood dog, Kramer is convinced to enter his rooster, hilariously named Little Jerry, in the cock fighting trade. Unaware of the risks that Little Jerry faces in fighting other roosters, an iconic Kramer quote is born. The Little Jerry is a classic episode and one that is primed to show up again on this list.
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
7 “You ever dream in 3-D? It’s like the boogeyman is coming right at you.”
When Elaine’s boss, Mr. Pitt becomes obsessed with Kramer’s 3-D art printing, he becomes distracted from his work. As the three are marveling at the picture, Kramer lets a thought slip out so bizarre that it could only make sense coming from him. I know I certainly wouldn’t want the boogeyman coming right at me.
6 “Do you think people will still be using napkins in the year 2000, or is this mouth-vacuum thing for real?"
This season eight episode sees Kramer and Newman planning competing parties for the upcoming millennium. As the planning commences, it leads Kramer to ponder what kind of sanitary devices people may use in the future. Seemingly, Kramer knows something about a mouth vacuum that the rest of us do not. This outrageous episode shows that the show that claims to be about nothing may very well be about everything.
5 “Look away, I’m hideous!”
The eighth season of Seinfeld continues to feature on this list as it has become an iconic season for Kramer. When he decides to open a smoker’s lounge in his apartment, the exposure to secondhand smoke begins to turn his teeth yellow and skin leathery. When this is brought to his attention by Jerry and Kramer sees his new appearance, he reiterates a classic line from the movie The Elephant Man, a line that is now just as synonymous with its parody as it is with its origin.
4 “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint, it’s delicious.”
Columbia Pictures Television
Most product placement found on television and in movies is poorly placed and shoehorned in. The utilization of Junior Mints, however, is brilliant in this fourth-season episode of Seinfeld. After Jerry and Kramer get the opportunity to watch a splenectomy be performed, Kramer opts to bring out a snack for the show, and after Jerry refuses a mint, one falls from the hospital viewing gallery and right into the patient, unannounced to the surgeon. Later in the episode, Kramer tries to explain his blunder away and places the blame at Jerry’s feet for the outrageous notion of turning down a Junior Mint. A fun fact to accompany this iconic quote, a Junior Mint was too small to be filmed and thus a York Peppermint Patty was substituted in. Junior Mints got all the credit for the hard work of York… such is life.
3 “Now just because Jerry Seinfeld is a has-been, don’t make Little Jerry Seinfeld a never-was!”
Little Jerry has returned to the ranking! Again, this episode is absurdly classic and features Kramer in perhaps the most outrageous storyline of the series. When Jerry at one point in the episode has reservations about Kramer putting the rooster into a big-time fight, Kramer berates Jerry and the current state of his career while comparing it to the upward trajectory of Little Jerry’s fighting career.
2 “Whadda you think, junior? These hands have been soaking in ivory liquid?”
After Kramer loses the privilege of keeping Jerry’s spare keys, he flees to California in search of a new life. As he is hitchhiking his way out west, he finds himself in the back of a van with a group of free-spirited teens, one of whom asks if he’s ever killed a man. Kramer, looking to hype himself up a bit, claims that his hands have not been soaking in ivory liquid. This is an iconic phrase by Kramer, but one that comes back to bite him later in the episode.
1 “I’m out there, Jerry. And I’m loving every minute of it!”
Columbia Pictures Television Distributions
The most iconic Kramer quote is all about being free, being loose, being out there, and loving every minute of it. Kramer, after learning he has reduced sperm count due to his underpants, Kramer decided to go commando (look it up). While Jerry and Elaine are less than enthused to be between him and a thin layer of gabardine only, Kramer fully embraces his newfound choice of garments. Kramer goes down as one of the best characters on the show because of moments and quotes such as this one.
